Things About Pregnancy That I Think Need To Change.

This was quite a hard post to write but one I've wanted to write for a while now. It's not intended to offend anyone, I just wanted a way to get my feelings down on 'paper' in the hope that, hopefully opinions and attitudes will start to change towards newly married and pregnant people and the comments that are made towards them.

I was so surprised that as soon as we got married the topic of children was brought up immediately. We were still in our wedding bubble and enjoying being husband and wife. When it was new, it was quite a strange feeling to think I had a husband, when I basically didn't feel old enough to have one.

Our adult lives are seen by society as having to follow a specific order, get a job, move out, find partner, get married, have children, retire and then ultimately die. It doesn't work like that anymore, the woman don't have to stay at home with the children while the man goes out to work.

So why in 2019 are newly married couples being asked constantly when are they going to have children?! I think what a lot of people need to be aware of before they ask this or imply it in some way, is that that couple may well be trying to get pregnant, may have been trying for a long time, may have been told they can't have children, may be going through fertility treatment or ultimately may not want children. At the end of the day it's not compulsory to have them. Many people probably won't openly share what they are going through with everyone because lets face it, who's business is it anyway.

I feel incredibly lucky that we were blessed with getting pregnant very quickly which I'll be honest I was not expecting. But again as soon as you tell people you're pregnant, you will receive a barrage of comments and opinions, wanted and not wanted. These range from whether you're eating too much, eating too little, your bumps too big, your bumps too small, what people think you're having before you've found out, suggestions on what you should name your baby and whether you're doing too much, to name a few. I know these are harmless but I bet people wouldn't give you so many of their opinions regarding other parts of your life.

All of these snippets of 'advice' and opinions are being given to a woman, who's body no longer feels like her own, she regularly feels vulnerable, her emotions are high and all over the place and could well be suffering some other wonderful pregnancy symptoms. Why just because she's 'only' pregnant are these things said to her, you wouldn't give so many comments to anyone else. People need to remember, pregnancy isnt an illness, we know this but growing a baby is a long and tiring journey and at times bloody hard. Also throw in having to carry on your normal life like going to work everyday.

Not only are you dealing with all of the above, the worrying starts immediately. Not when you have your baby in your arms but as soon as you find out your pregnant. I second guessed everything from what I was eating, whether I had felt him move enough, what I was doing etc. There is pretty much nothing I didn't google. You will also become very protective over your bump/ baby very quickly.

I would say being pregnant and growing my own human, who I had wanted for so long has been one of the most amazing experiences even if I didn't get to carry him to Term. I just hope that over time people won't see pregnancy as a free pass to give their comments, stories and opinions which frankly they wouldn't share so openly if it was any other circumstance in someone's life.

Thank you for reading

Love. Hx